Slim Shady years coming to an end

I was a very young guy who learned what racist was like growing up in a majority white neighborhood at the time of West Price Hill.  At that time I was isolated from meeting new people due to my behavior and temper-tantrums but also having to please people that wouldn’t care for me at any time in my life.  This allowed me to treat people who were just like me wrong and took them for granted…not realizing how important the people who really cared for me until the people were long gone.  I was very young; I didn’t understand how to be social with people who wanted to spend time.  From then on in, I did everything I could to over-analyze everything and lean to self sabotage good things became almost the norm for me. 

For example…A third of white girls and women I liked from when I was 10 up to being college age happened to be Jewish.  There were other girls to, but mainly black girls and Jewish girls tried to hang out with me.  I was a camper at Stepping Stones Center camp for disabilities from 1988 (I was almost 4 then) up to 1995 (when I was almost 11) I developed 2 crushes during the summer of 1995.  The first crush was on a fellow camper who was wheelchair bound with Cerebral Palsy and the other one was a volunteer named Lauren (photo of her and I is below blog) who I bonded with rather quickly because I made the girl in the wheelchair special and thought I had a warm loving heart…which I still do have. 

After being picked on by 3 boys in particular I stopped going to Stepping Stones during the summer months was one of the hardest decisions I had to live with.  My mother reminded me about the friends I would have left behind but at that time I really didn’t care. During the years 1994-96 I developed a crush on now former talk show host Ricki Lake.  Her talk show was one of the many outlets I used to get into news in a very young age…I’m not a girl, but I watched anyway. I also developed a crushes on Fran Drescher, Selma Blair and Neve Campbell back then too. Fran’s nauseating laugh on “The Nanny” was funny and nauseating I couldn’t help to blush red and laugh with conflicted emotions of how bad she sounds. Selma was very cool in her roles in the movie “Legally Blonde.” Neve in the mid 1990’s was a heartthrob for me when she stared in “Party of Five and the “Scream” movies.

Years went by and I was beginning to listen to Eminem and Ice Cube as a fan even though my second oldest brother warned me to stop listening to Eminem as my sister warned me not to listen to Ice Cube but I didn’t listen. The more rap I listened the more bitter I felt like Limburger cheese and insecurities and society’s problems were weighting on me, especially when there was a long time friend who happened to be Jewish had all the interest to be with me since her crush was elevating to new highs until too many fights and temper tantrums broke her heart and chance for romance with her died in Jacobs Center middle school.

I really had no idea how I fallen until it took me months of begging into my knees for forgiveness.  She accepted my apology after months of self inflicted sorrow, but still didn’t change the fact I lost a true friend at that time, lost possible love too. Since I was black and chances of mating with White girls who happened to be Jewish with dark hair was out of the question so I lust over white girls who weren’t Jewish sometimes and Asian girls all the time because of their long dark hair and eyes too… (If you read the Scramble blog entry you might know the reasons already) 

To pass the time I listed to Eminem, DMX and other rappers while daydreaming of many fights that were notable on "Dragon Ball Z" and watch anime cartoons like "Sailor Moon" and "Ronin Warriors" so I didn’t really think about girls too much until 2001.  I met a fellow Stepping Stone volunteer a white girl who happened to be Jewish who was a soccer star to be in Walnut Hills high school was very nice to me and was given me advice of how to understand disabled children like me better. Then in the following year I met another Jewish girl while at Hughes high school, she was cool, polite but very conservative. She was transferred to another school before I could get intimately involved but it was nice while it lasted. 

Years later while attending school at University of Cincinnati I was in a very tough spot just like I was when I was younger as most of my friends were either Black or Jewish.  I studied issues of race and dating outside  religions in my free time when I wasn’t in Women’s Studies classes or sociology classes to give the right idea of how to relate to other people not like me.  I was so affected by news reports and researching numbers in who does what affected how friendly or unfriendly and guarded I was trying to be careful not to hurt anyone but still ended hurting myself by not developing friendships.  

I met a friend who happened to be a Jewish girl who grew to like enough from 2003-05 to keep an eye on me and made sure I was okay.  By the time I started to like her I only wanted her as a friend, and by the time I found out she really like me too much time passed on trying to get close to her.  Yes I did have a crush on her, but I wasn’t over a brake up with a White girl who wasn’t Jewish in 2003 that I had to break up with because her family didn’t like Black people…I have had crushes on notable Jewish women since then (when I wasn’t hooked on Asian women as compensation) were Sarah Silverman, Debra Messing, Sue Bird, Stacy London and Shay Doran among others (I didn’t know at the time they were.)  If a white woman I might date has dark eyes and dark hair and so she happens to be Jewish too shouldn't feel like its the end of my world.

All because some rappers like Eminem and Ice Cube thinks being anti-Semitic is okay and some of religious issues regarding some people who share the Judaic faith doesn’t mean that I have to black ball everyone who happens to be born in the faith.  I’ve already hurt myself because of research I’ve done and letting society tell me what to do when it comes to friendship and love.  2012 is coming and I want to enjoy the last weeks of 2011 and not hum anymore Eminem and Ice Cube songs in the shower.  The rap persona I try to show off for years has left me shy, cautions and ill-tempered is getting very old. 

 

Freedom Center Underground Railroad museum. I took photo of museum in November 2011.  Reminds me to be free to have freedom of expression and be happy.

Sorta coach 2135 as Route 4 Ridge Road.  Bus was sitting at Crossroads Community mega church layover for final time in 2011 due to Cincinnati Milacron factory was being demolished across the street in November 2011.

 

Sorta coach 4018 as Route 39 Western Hills-Uptown in early October 2011.

Lauren and I in 1995 at Camp Stepping Stones a long time ago.

Walking the Bridge

Today was a cold blistery day walking close to the University of Cincinnati campus to take pics of Sorta coach 6012 that was driven as Route 51 Clifton-Hyde Park Crosstown.  I stayed on the bus since another bus I would have taken pictures of was driven by a bus driver I don't know and might not be receptive of me taking photos.  The walk through Clifton neighborhood was wet and dreary but I wasn't the least bit tired up to seeing the Ludlow Street viaduct bridge. 
I walked later onto the Ludlow Street Viaduct bridge.  The fear of the bridge was deepening because I walked up the same bridge with I-75 and railroad tracks just below. 
My mind was on "Under the Bridge" song from 1991 by rock & roll hall of fame inductees in 2012 Red Hot Chili Peppers while waking the bridge head down slightly so I can keep a level head as trucks and cars are rolling past me.  Walking the bridge was a success in the cold, but I still wonder where did I lose my nice looking scarf which matches my hat one month ago.  Here are my photos of the day.

One Shot Tattoo shop photo I took when the sun was out last Friday at Western Hills.

Found half of a pumpkin at Marburg Avenue in Oakley neighborhood on December 8, 2011

Sorta coach 6012 freezing in the cold at Center of Cincinnati Mall today.

Plaque at Clifton and Ludlow Avenues commemorating Mary Ellen Heintz.

Ludlow Avenue Viaduct bridge as I was walking into Northside neighborhood.

Fishing Hooks in the snow.

Today is the 70th anniversary of the Pearl Harbor bombings.  My late grandmother, bless her soul was 16 at the time of the horrific launch of bombs from the Japanese which brought America into World War II.  She died from Lung Cancer 2 weeks before here birthday on October 13, 2003.  At that time, watching the Florida Marlins run throughout the MLB season by her bedside at the hospital took my mind away from the sadness.  Marlins ended up winning the World Series 4-2 verses the New York Yankees on what would have been my grandmother's birthday on October 27th.  Marlins have been hooked in mediocrity since then.
Speaking of the Marlins, today team management has given up chances to lure Albert Pujols out of St. Louis.   Marlins did get pitching help with signing former Chicago White Sox ace pitcher Mark Buehrle...nice move by Ozzie Guillen who manage Buehrle with the White Sox.  Buehrle threw 2 no hitters in 12 year career as a starting pitcher.  I'm still amazed how much different the Marlins are with the new ballpark.  Today was wet with snow around in every turn as keeping warm was a bit challenging.  Here are the photos of the day.

Sorta coach 2129 sitting at Center of Cincinnati Mall as flurries are swirling around.

Sorta coach 9040 sitting at Center of Cincinnati Mall in the cold as the flurries stopped

Train rolling on the tracks on Reading Road in Reading, Ohio.  My 3 year old nephew loves trains, makes him think of Thomas the Tank Engine.

Rain go away in 2012

Another day filled with rain
2011 seemed to be the year that it rained almost every 4 days in a week.
Rain has given puddles a new meaning in front lawn of my neighbors house...this is ridiculous
The bus 2130 was running in the rain today.  The fog was so dense between 1-4 pm was weird to see or walk through the streets like "The Hound of the Baskerville."
I found a photo I took in the snow on yesterday's date last year...and yes it is coach 2130, ugh!  At least at this time last year the anticipation of Cam Newton and Auburn University playing in the BCS championship against Oregon was a thrill just like now awaiting Alabama and Louisiana State settle the SEC slugfest in BCS Championship game. I hope 2012 won't be as wet or ground saturated unlike this year has been.  I love the cold weather but at this time next week I'll complain and wished summer would come fast enough...stop complaining.
Tonight I'm watching one of my NFL teams I monitor as a casual fan the Jacksonville Jaguars (not a diehard fan like I am as a Philadelphia Eagles fan) are hosting the San Diego Chargers.  Jaguars are in full rebuilding mode after the former owner fired coach Jack Del Rio as head coach last week.  The sale of the Jaguars is pending league approval.  Jaguars need to play hard and fix the problems of a young team trying to grow up in 2012 and be competitive in the AFC South division.
Here are photos I dug up on my flash drives...too wet to take photos today.

Foggy fall day in October is so similar to the washout of today.

Took this photo in August.  Summer seems so far away.

Took photo of Sorta coach 2130 in the snow on December 4th last year. At time of photo was the 2 year and 1 month anniversary of coach being wrapped with Metro's new look in November 2008.

MLB note of the day: The Miami Marlins signed Short Stop Jose Reyes to a 6 year for over $100 million.  As a Marlin fan since 1997 how did the "Fish-Heads" managed to hide money in their mattress like Mr. Krabs on "SpongeBob SquarePants?!"

Is this 2005 again...sure feels like it.

The NFL season as a Philadelphia Eagles fan has been draining to say the season is a lost cause which is obvious.   This development isn't easy to accept the fact the Cincinnati Bengals regardless if the team wins or loses verses the Pittsburgh Steelers tomorrow this young team is here to stay.  My mother and almost everyone I know are Bengals fans...I'm used to laughing at the team as I see the team as 'comic relief.'  I'm definitely not laughing at them right now.
The Bengals of 2011 reminds me of the team that started the 2005 NFL season 4-0 to end 15 year playoff drought with an 11-5 record.  The players have changed since then and the Bengals likely won't win the AFC North division as they did in 2005 because how the Baltimore Ravens defense and Steelers playoff experience.  Why am I bringing this up about how good the Bengals can be?  This is the only 3rd time that the Philadelphia Eagles will finish with less wins than the Bengals since I became a fan in late 1995.
My personal life hasn't change at all from 2005 up to now except for being an uncle again.  My brother helped brought twins into the world (one is a boy and one is a girl).  The twins are 5 years old now.  My sister on the other had her second boy in 2008.  Her first son was born in 2004, several months before the Eagles finished the season winning the NFC East division before falling to Tom Brady and the New England Patriots dynasty.
Forecast for my Eagles look cloudy.  The Philadelphia Eagles are young in key areas in defense as the offense is lost in orbit searching for answers and firing head coach Andy Reid will not cure the ills of having great expectations that turnout to end most seasons in heartbreak.  Maybe the Eagles needed a longer off-season that no NFL team had due to the lockout, or looking at famous named players that just didn't fit into the system...I don't know which one, hopefully the Eagles will have a similar bounce back season as they did in the 2006 season.
Here is the photo of the day.

My rendition of the Eagles helmet similar to the helmets the team wore for a long time up to the end of the 1996 season.

Hello New Dawn

I took pictures of Route 6 Queen City at the Mercy Franciscan Hospital for the final time.  Layover point is returning to West Towne Centre strip mall in Western Hills on Sunday.  Routes 10, 21 and 33 currently layover there.  Before taking pictures of Route 6, I took Route 39 Western Hills-Uptown for the final time before the grand opening of Metro's new Transit Hub at Glenway Crossing.  The hub is built within the Glenway Crossing Shopping Center.
When I was growing up, that was the strip mall to shop at, many people from Cincinnati, Delhi and Green Township residents helped built that place up.  The strip mall has had many changes notably the closing of former retail giant Service Merchandise 10 years ago.  I bought (tank version of) Megatron and Onslaught Transformers toys at that store years ago.  Michael's which was a prestigious art store moved from Glenway Crossing Shopping Center to the old spot at Old Navy in Western Hills Plaza.  Target retail store moved from across the street at Glencrossing Way to Western Hills Plaza as well, but almost 2 years earlier at November 2009.  Hobby Lobby is where Target was.  Former location of Hobby Lobby was demolished to expand space for Gold's Gym where the transit hub is across the street.
Route 64 Westwood-Ferguson which lays over at Glencrossing Way across the street from Izzy's is also moving to the hub along with Routes 38X Glenway Crossing-Uptown Express and 77X Delhi Express too.  Yes I did take photos of Route 64 too.
My day wasn't over yet as I walked from Glencrossing Way to Western Hills Plaza to pick up some groceries at Target.  I took photos of  Route 21 Harrison Avenue at the West Towne Centre layover even though I didn't need Sorta coach 6028.  I remembered that the layover point is being moved near The Home Depot which makes it harder for me to take pictures of buses in isosceles angles so I took photos.  The ride from Western Hills to Downtown Cincinnati wasn't bad even though the bus was replaced by an older coach at Central Parkway.
Taking route 17 Northgate was kind of a headache because the bus was extremely full of people.    If you don't know it was Sorta coach 2130.  Yes I did think about her seeing after seeing that bus as it was turning left on 9th street...I usually daydream of Yu-Gi-Oh charcters when I'm on all Sorta 4000 coaches.   I had to get of Route 17 across the street of University of Cincinnati because the bus was so full.  I had to flag the driver down to catch Route 51 Clifton-Hyde Park Crosstown to get home, since most drivers don't believe black people live in Fairview.  Thankfully, the driver who drove me home I already knew him so it wasn't a problem.
It took me an hour to upload new photos on Flickr but it was all worth it then order some good Papa John's Pizza the Double Pepperoni for me as I ordered my mother the Garden Fresh Pizza with Chicken added...Only problem with the order was that Papa John's didn't tell me that the store was out of 20 oz of Coke and Sprite too so I took the Diet Coke instead.  It was great, I'm feeling full from all of this writing.

P.S. Sorta means Southwestern Ohio Regional Transit Authority or Cincinnati Metro for short.

  

Sorta coach 6021 as Route 39 Western Hills-Uptown.

Sorta coach 9018 as Route 6 Queen City.

Sorta coach 888 as Route 64 Westwood-Ferguson.

Sorta coach 6028 as Route 21 Harrison Avenue.

Alvin & the Chipmunks.  I grew watching them animated, my 7 year old nephew is growing up watching them in 3D now.

Sorta coach 4009 at Government Square in Downtown Cincinnati as Route 17 Northgate.

Signs that I should be a Duck fan again.

http://mscapsfan.tripod.com/jagr0701.html 

 Anaheim Ducks hired Bruce Boudreau as head coach after firing Randy Carlyle late last night. Boudreau was the coach of one of my former favorite teams the Washington Capitals.   I was a duck fan too, this was such a long time ago the team was called the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim.  So long ago that I had an official team clock, also had Grin, Mallory and other Mighty Ducks toys not inspired by the movie series or the team, but the cartoon…tells the readers on my blog how old I am

I was a Washington Capitals fan from 1996-2003.  My love for the team soured when the team acquired Jaromir Jagr to start the 2001-02 season.  I was fed up with Jagr trying to be the next Mario Lemieux, great scorer but seemed to holding back at his time there.  In the 2002-03 seasons, I fell in love with the Tampa Bay area where I went to for Spring Break trip in 2003 in my senior year in high school.  In my hotel room I watched the Eastern Conference 1^st round series Washington Capitals and Tampa Bay Lightning playing against each other…I had mixed emotions while watching the series.  Lightning won the series in 6 games. 

I became a full time Lightning fan to start the 2003-04 season as I left the Capitals…can’t be a fan of two teams in the Southeast Division.  Lightning went on to win the Stanley Cup Final verses the Calgary Flames in a physical epic of a 7 game series to end the season.  I’m still a fan of the Lightning today in spite the logo looks like the same lightning bolt and movement of negative space reminds me of “Static Shock” the series…ironically ended in 2004. 

I was a fan of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks from 1995-2000 watching my favorite duo Teemu Selanne and Paul Kariya played together was a treat for me.  Watching the cartoon series and the team was owned by Disney, even though I love almost everything from Disney I thought it was a sign that I had to grow up…but I did watch the Ducks in teams unprecedented run to the Stanley Cup Final before losing to the New Jersey Devils in 6 games.  The Ducks changed their names and uniforms before the start of the 2006-07 season made me want to jump back into the pond and become a fan again.  The Ducks went on to win Stanley Cup Final verses the Ottawa Senators in 5 games at the end of the season.

I was very happy the Ducks won the cup, but I wasn’t quite back as I was still a Vancouver Canucks fan.  I was a fan of the Canucks from 1997-2011.  I was a fan of the Canucks because mark Messier was one of my favorite players I like to watch even though he helped the New York Rangers win the cup in 1994. I left the Canucks following the loss to the Boston Bruins in the Stanley Cup Final due to the riots that broke out…really upset me a big deal.

Here are my newest photos of the day I took by cell phone below today. 

Roxx Electrocafe at Clifton Heights near University of Cincinnati.

Sunset near University of Cincinnati

Development still idle.

Beelistic's Tattoo shop across the street of University of Cincinnati campus.

Being my own king.

Hello to the last day of November...which means there are 31 days left of 2011.  This year has gone by slowly. If I had a woman right now, this would be the poem to make her weak in the knees.

Pillow Fingers

I see you…I want to see you and I really want to show you that I’m here longing for a special person to hold on to my pillow fingers

Your smile makes me red like Charlie Brown does when he sees that Red Haired girl he always long to see but never had the heart to talk to her

My eyes say your dimples make me want to pinch your face with my pillow fingers you’re your grandmother does and say, “Oohh…you are so scrumptious I could eat you up.”

Seeing you make my heart sing some love songs deep inside that I couldn’t do with anyone else until I met you…you thought I was special.

I never thought I would be special to anyone, especially a woman who wants to date me.

Your jokes and lively spirit is just too hard for my heart to ignore when I really want to hold your fingers which feels like a pillow…but my heart is nervous of tripping up on a stray power line and electrocuting myself by making a mistake.

I’m not supposed to think of a person in my distant past, but you remind me of a friend I really like…she had dark hair which was cut short, shares the zodiac sign of the bull as you do and for any kid who made fun of me, she stood up for me until she moved away.

My eyes say you are very lovely…with your key to my heart as very few people were able to reach me from living in my head as you do as I’m holding you pillow fingers.

My eyes tell me you have beautiful dark brown eyes

My eyes says you have dark long curly hair that you straighten to impress your girlfriends…I love straight hair too, but most people in the world have curly hair as you and I do so I shouldn’t care.

My eyes say that you have broad shoulders…My shoulders are as broad like Pittsburgh Steelers running back Jerome Bettis.

My eyes say you have meaty calves…well I have big handsome calves myself so I can laugh about it.

My heart says you have a slender body but have a big heart to see a man I’m trying to be  My eyes says you have a nice butt, your eyes says my but is bigger than yours as your pillow fingers want to play hand flirting.

My eyes says I don’t have an attracted chest…but you still want to be with me as I crave kissing and caressing you cinnamon bun sized firm juicy breasts after as I hold your pillow fingers longing for you to open up your peach yogurt like vagina to me as you unzip your pants and I unzip mine longing to make sweet and sour rough love to you as I hold your beautiful face as you lay on to your pillow.

You care for me like a baby sometimes, you love me in spite my mental disability and that is the love that I should have been seeking instead of getting lost in fashion trends on US weekly magazine getting lost in finding a woman who wants to hold my pillow fingers.

My eyes says stop seeing the world as a fantasy and understand that all in the women on Earth and only one person opened the key to experience real love and that woman is you…I want to hold your pillow fingers on my hand for the duration of my life as the shot clock of life expires every second as I yearn to hold on to your pillow fingers and making love to you again because I love you. 

 I was inspired about feeling that I have super powers because my new cell phone.

The battle I felt like King Arthur.

I was searching for a right handed sword to compliment my left handed sword would give me the power to defeat any foe like Talpa in the earthy feel of the forest like Robin Hood.

The spirit of the will to fight was within but the sword seemed to have a dip below the handle from a long battle

The sword broke at the spot after minutes of battle made me feel blue like the Blue Guys and having to search for another sword…wondering if I could find a sword strong enough to help me when another fight comes to me

I met off with a blacksmith who would fix my sword…it was fixed like a modern knife, but the bill had me feeling like I was chocking on a chicken drumstick

The next fight took me far from the depths of the forest to the inner smog of the city as people were running in fear of the unknown was coming…I was fully ready until the blacksmith warned me by pager that the tip of the knife was dull and can’t take up too much power…but I learned that fact long after another fight started

Agility, skill and finesse helped me win this grueling battle with another warlord but like the first sword I had not only broke at the middle, but both swords this time were shattered to pieces as I looked with gasp, what can I do have a knife inserted in my wrist like Wolverine to fight…funny but no

Off to see the blacksmith and hopefully I can get a refund for the shattered sword has me wondering are my “saving the day” days are coming to a shattered end?

Drink picture from Hard Rock Cafe last year in Louisville, KY using a Nokia cell phone.

Took photo of Sorta coach 9051 using my new cell phone which is a Samsung...see how crisp this photo is compared to the older one below, wow!! 

Took this photo of Sorta coach 9051 using a Nokia in July 2011...updated photo of coach is above.