Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Sacrifice

What does it mean to sacrifice something to make a person happy.
Does something bad have to happen or an avalanche worth of short-comings
Or does the though of being happy makes you feel insecure in oneself which makes you sad, then feel happy that friends are on their own.
then you want to talk to them but your friends move on talking to people who have the time to be friendly.
Taking bus pictures is an hobby, but what does the pictures tell viewers of them
is it a machine...yes.  Is it everlasting like a computer...no but it's pretty close.
From the time I was thinking of taking pictures and taking snapshots with my mobile phones...covering up for past sadness doesn't make me strong, it makes me cry from the inside if I were inside a photograph.
Scared of being love by real women who see me as a grown man...never feeling no more than a boy just following orders, then complain to yourself wondering why are you so weak in the heart.
Being in a trance of things that changes from year by year like sports teams and politics.
Not understanding life changes with a blink of an eye until I saw some of my buses from Metro being repainted within the last 3 years...why didn't I embrace change when  females who wanted to date me wonder why I wouldn't grow up. 
Taking bus pictures doesn't heal the heart...leads me to chase dreams and memories of past failures still sit with me and always duplicating a relationship that made me feel like an innocent child and always draw up memories that didn't exist.
Grades you get in school, or the improving artwork, or earning money to live, or sports teams I cheer for reach the top only means that I need to make the sacrifice of what I like to grow up and have a relationship with an adult woman who knows what she wants.
Kissing sports and Metro buses good-bye is very difficult to do.